Running Doubts

I posted my thoughts on running my first half marathon in an event I had created o  Facebook, inviting my friends to run with me…

Guys and gals, following my initial enthusiasm I am not 100% sure signing up for and running a half marathon is a great idea.

I started running for general fitness and am really happy with my progress. I enjoyed the 5Ks and the 10ks but never imagined I’d sign myself to a half marathon.

My current melancholic mood may be due to the fact I’ve been unable to run for the past fortnight due to the snow in Essex.

I enjoy running. I enjoy what I have achieved and I am having fun but I really don’t know if running a half marathon is for me.

I don’t want to sound like I’m giving up or defeatist but at present I cannot find the drive to do such a thing.

Sorry just putting this out there as I don’t want us to all sign up when I have doubts about running (and I know with Enda Guinan encouragement this was kinda my idea to rope you all in).

I will hopefully get out for a run at the weekend and my perspective may change but I wanted to let you guys know that I am having doubts about signing up for the half…

I posted this as the registration is Monday and I didn’t want to let any one down.  I certainly didn’t want to let myself down and I was doubting whether I can run the distance.  I was thinking that I actually didn’t want to run it either.

When I posted that yesterday I was at lunch and had been dwelling on some thoughts about the run that I have had for a while.  Thoughts that have manifested during a period where I have not been able to do any running due to the snow and ice around where I live.

I guess I feel a little guilty at being able to get some of my time back for not running and I am surprised that I haven’t missed the running on my second week as much as I did on the first. That said I don’t think I had reason to worry because I knew that I was being completely sensible this was the right mentality as it was simply not possible to run around here.

I’ve seen one or two people attempt to run amidst the snow and ice but it looks like hard work and they seem to have completed nothing more than short loops as pavements and roads were solid and very very slippery.  I’ve seen them tetter and slide around and that’s just not ideal!

Anyway my friends were very supportive of my post and gave me lots of encouragement and ensured I shouldn’t feel guilty for not wanting to run the half and not to feel bad for not running.

I have thought about running in London in my lunch break but things are incredibly busy at the office and I am not sure I have enough time to get out at lunch.  I am also not sure I feel 100% safe running in London.

A friend did offer me the chance to run with him in London in the evenings and it is something I will definitely do – especially as he was so kind to offer me the chance to join him.

I haven’t covered any longer distances this year therefore I think my doubts about the half marathon stem from there.  I think I need to allow myself to do short runs during the week but get back to longer runs at the weekend – which I was doing for all the races last year.

If I am honest my current melancholic mood is created by work and this is not giving me a positive outlook and everything.  The running is great for allowing me to switch off, de-stress and avoid the shit created at the office and of course if I am not doing it I am not getting that chance.  It’s a vicious circle.

I am sure once I get back into it I will be fine and I have months to go before the actual race to train and prepare.  By then the weather will have sorted itself out etc so it’ll be much more enjoyable.

The thaw has started here and we go from 2 degrees today to 10 tomorrow so I am hopeful that I can get back into my trainers and be more positive about the running.

Thanks to Mark, Enda, John and Em for the support and feed back.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. tcatt63 says:

    I’m about to run my fist half marathon in 3 weeks. It is amazing that a body can go 13.1 miles. We have a much warmer climate here, but it does get below freezing in the winter some. Anyway, running has a lot to do with psychology. You can, within reason, can do anything you set your mind to in running. You can also talk yourself out of running. I hear the negative voices in my head as I push myself, but I ignore it and push through.

    I don’t know if this helps, but even though I don’t know you, you sound like someone who can run a half marathon. Just ignore the voices 🙂

    1. Keith says:

      Tom thanks for the very kind words.

      You’re right. As soon as soon as I get out on the road again I’m sure I’ll be fine 🙂

      Best of luck with your half marathon.

  2. I trained for three months to get to half marathon distance. In all that time, I doubted myself probably every week. The days I couldn’t run because of work or minor injury. The days I ran and felt every jolt in my body, the cramps, the dismal weather, the failures to hit my daily goal… Even though I’d signed up, paid and told folk what I was doing, I still considered giving up.

    But then there were the days when I imagined myself crossing the finish line, beating my time goal, feeling the experience of running with hundreds of others, the sense of pride I’d have in myself and others may have in me…

    So long as the good days outweigh the bad, sticking with it seems the right thing to do. If you’re not enjoying it, feel you’re doing it for others or injuring yourself, then maybe it’s the wrong thing but if you have more moments when you feel great, get the buzz or miss running when you’re not able, then keep at it! Enjoy! X

    1. Keith says:

      Thanks for that Jay. That’s really kind of you to say. I have been enjoying my running up until now. The break re the weather didn’t help as it just made me lose drive and focus.

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